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Example:
By line of story. one or two sentences. John Bradley’s parents were killed when he was twelve. As an adult, he finds a journal that his father kept. In it he finds evidence of a discovery. He uses the written information to continue his father’s work. In the process, he learns the reason his father was killed.
The Zamzummim Project was an interesting story. I enjoyed the twists you put on it (not knowing who were the good and bad guys). However, it is a bit too lengthy right now for Hollywood’s standards. (Although the standard a few years ago were 120 or 110 pages, it is now down to 100 or 90 pages and this script came in at 119 pages.) The romance between John Bradley and Jacki Kincade is wonderful. Otherwise, I loved the story. It’ll be great once you clean it up a bit.
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